I was reflecting today and in recent weeks...I'm the type of person public "education" was designed for, white, male, upper middle class---they nearly kept me insulated enough to unquestioningly become a member of the ruling, or at least managing class, until one teacher had the foresight to suggest reading some books on poverty, which in my hyper insulated Newton existence, opened my eyes to a lot of things I'd never considered before. And actually, it was taking the SAT's for the second time--can you tell this is an upper middle class town?--in Somerville opposed to Newton that gave me the concrete context to open my eyes and awaken me to the stark differences in just about everything only 11 miles away...
But school was supposed to "work" for me. I see myself in the curriculum and history, I am undeservedly praised for things students of color, girls, and poor/working class kids are likely not; I am not treated as a suspect or a criminal and teachers look the other way should I take part in any "suspect" activity, etc, etc, etc... But let me say honestly what I feel I about my experience in school looking back... IT WAS SO F#%+ING BORING!!! And I can honestly say beyond reading, I learned little of any value beyond basic study habits. And despite our school being 'ram you down the throat college prep savvy (kill me)', I hardly learned how to write until sophomore or junior year of college.
Let me tell you the things I did learn...I learned how to accept white supremacy and believe that feeling uncomfortable around people of color (or any diversity be it class, race, sexual orientation) is natural. I learned that it didn't really matter if what you're doing is interesting, but that you have to sit through these boring f#%+ing classes anyways and LOVE the mind numbing boredom. I learned to nearly unquestioningly imbibe the absurd middle class/white values my town cultivates us to adopt; learned to loathe learning foreign languages; learned how to be a real pain in the ass to all my teachers and fellow students (a positive really, since I wasn't arrested for it...). I learned how to cheat really well in all my classes, but especially Math which, from seventh grade on when they began teaching it in ways I could not completely understand, I lost my interest in and confidence in myself to do it. Even though since I was a kid, I was the kid who loved math, who took pride in my ability to figure out how many minutes left in an hour faster than anyone in my family. I learned that learning was this artificial thing that only our teachers could give us access to and that did not occur outside the classroom...the list could go on (there are useful and positive things but the list is WAY shorter)...
I loved building with legos, being outside, going camping, reading...few things which were available in school....I always loved doodling in high school and middle school, I was an amazing doodler; when I began college I completely stopped doodling. Looking back, I realize I was such a talented doodler because it was the only way of coping with my insanely boring classes. I guess I've been lucky to have had more engaging classes during college.
Let me tell you what I, and most kids in school, whether of color, poor, white, rich, miss...I missed opportunities to learn with my hands and be outside, to discover the joy of learning at my own pace, driven by my own interests--the passion that surges from staying up all night reading, or the joy of discovery at new intellectual, emotional breakthroughs with thoughts I've been having, to learn about the world from critical perspectives that begin with my own personal life experiences and move out from there; to learn that learning is an inherent quality of human nature and so is curiosity and that in fact we are learning all day, every second, all the time.